The drought is over...

It doesn't seem like that long since I logged in and started writing about what had been happening. It is really feels like only a few days since I last wrote about what I was doing but it’s about a month. I've been pleased on the whole with the last few weeks of my life - I haven't achieved anything special but I have at least stopped drinking and this has left me in a position where I can stop smoking, as the major problem was always having a few drinks and then smoking again when I didn't intend to.

Controlled alcohol intake has been rather new for me to say the least, I've had about 30 dry days of the last 35. This hasn't led to what I class as meaningful changes in my life but I have stopped doing something that was really just boring me shitless. Drinking wasn't really bringing me any pleasure - or at least hadn't for the last few years. I was doing it to reduce anxiety and to regain some feelings of normality. I wasn't doing it to completely feel normal, I have had some experience of drinkers who do that - there was one occasion when I was out drinking in Manchester when I was a student there when I noticed that I had started to feel 'normal' after about three or four pints, so I can relate to people who have to drink in order to feel this way. This only happened on one or two occasions over twelve years ago now.

Being on the verge of becoming teetotal does almost appeal to me in a way that I didn't think it would. I did waste a lot of time in the state of being so hungover that I couldn't function, but as someone who didn't relax in a normal fashion and largely couldn't put down the list of things to do that always grew at a faster rate than jobs were being ticked off: I did find myself being stressed by what I didn't have to do but was putting myself under pressure to complete, so hangovers provided at least some means of stopping myself, forcing a rest from the chores I had. They could be very painful affairs, leaving me in a state when I would want to sleep through the haze in order to avoid the pain that I had caused myself. What I've found interesting is that I tend to have a headache when I get up on a Saturday morning irrespective of whether I've drunk or not and I have had half days over the last few weeks while I haven't been drinking that I've had general feelings of being unwell, headaches and a lack of being alert enough to do what I want to do with myself. I had previously related this to alcohol consumption as there was a very strong correlation between having been out for a drink on an evening and then feeling very hungover the next day. One would assume perhaps very safely that there were no grounds to question this any further but I have felt drowsy, had headaches, been unable to concentrate and not been in the best of spirits on a few days while I've been free of alcohol when I would ordinarily have attributed these problems to alcohol consumption. It appears that alcohol is not the cause if this is continuing. Or may be my body is just tuned to alcohol consumption in a big way that I just have hangovers automatically.

One of the major feats I've achieved is to scan in many of the pictures I've ammassed while I've been dabbling in photography since my teens. I've mananged to get most of them online on my flickr site and there are some gems in amongst the dross that are worth checking out. For instance, there are shots of the round the world trip (1996-7) [the first 325 shots have some good landscapes amongst them - don't forget to use the full screen option click the box in the bottom right corner with the arrows pointing away from the centre of the box]. There's also a few nice shots of Aveiro where I attended a PhD workshop in 1998, and things like Masshouse Memories which just aren't good enough as photographs in some respects but still worth seeing. There are some great shots of the trip I took to France with Ian W in the France and Plymouth collection that have some great scenery in amongst the daft shots of Ian and me. Likewise, see the shots of Skye are okay for the period they were taken.

It feels like a great many of the shots are too good in terms of the quality that I achieved with an Olympus XA2 that I had for the bulk of the period that these photographs cover. I don't know if I was just lucky or I've been given someone else's photographs for the majority of the time I've been getting stuff developed. Maybe I've just had very good quality results from the places that I've had my photos developed - I used to pay more to get my film developed and printed by Jessops and generally speaking they do produce better results. The shots of Tiger Leaping Gorge in amongst the round the world photographs of Cambodia, Vietnam and China are the most breathtaking in terms of scenery and I am very pleased with what is in amongst some of the weaker stuff.

There is also the photo-essay that I worked on, which I assume made me look a little like the main character from Memento, the Guy Pearce film. Every time I have stated to a clinician that I have had no short term memory and I've been unable to function as a result I assume I've looked like someone mimicking Memento's lead. I think I've made the point before that there could be attempts to get some 'cultural products' into mainstream culture, including film characters and storylines, in order to use this as a mechanism of classing someone with mental health problems of mimicking fictional characters in order to get more attention when reporting symptoms should they relate their life to a fictional character's experience. I don't know how well founded this is as a principle however there could be problems for mental health practitioners who are subject to looking for confirmation of the theories they have rather than explore the alternatives. I assume it's more likely that the experience of being mentally ill can sometimes be so strange that there's a greater tendency to draw from the arts when explaining what type of experience an individual has had because there doesn't seem to be anything that similar reported in the media or that the sufferer would have heard of elsewhere.

As a result of how the individual with mental health issues is dealt with in contemporary society the experience I've had is that there is a tendency to engage in a certain amount of prejudice and disregard an individual with mental health issues as drawing from the arts when certain artistic or cultural products may be put in place to serve a purpose of rejecting the experience of some individuals - that they appear to be drawing from the arts rather than the arts have been manipulated in order to assist with disregarding some individuals so society can continue to be managed in the way that it has been for the last few centuries. Anyway the photo-essay Stormy Weather is online - which I think was shot before I saw any of Memento - there are other films that leave me with just a hint of this conspiracy - there's Dracula, Men in Black, Dr Jekyl & Mr Hyde, Manchurian Candidate, Invasion of the Body Snatchers and a few others that figure alongside Memento. I don't think I've really drawn from a single one, I've only recognised something similar in my experience and related it to what I had seen on the screen as it was the closest portrayal of the experience I'd had by far.

Whether certain cultural products are dropped into society because of their capacity to provide support to people with mental health problems or because there is a tendency for the storylines or characters to provide a means to later dismiss the individual because they have drawn from the arts when explaining their life experience, remains open to question - perhaps there could be clearer guidance on this matter from bodies that can guide the arts in future.

After the weekend.....

It wasn't much to achieve this weekend but I managed to get my sleeping patterns back in place. I don't know what the research into sleeping patterns involved at the University of Plymouth, but it does strike me as being a good area to research. I don't have major problems with the amount I sleep, what tends to happen is that I don't have a great deal of control over which eight hours in the day they are. Then I get up and have a look at things like Neil Young - Heart of Gold which strike me as being reasonable way to spend time but who am I to say. Still it lacks a bit of the bite that Like a Huricane has and possibly even the band I missed on Friday, The Portico Quartet.

The big gigs of the year

I don't know what I was expecting when I booked my ticket for Herbie Hancock at Symphony Hall a few months ago. It was a show that I think probably fell into the ranks of indescipherable progressive jazz that is only of note because of how lacking in melody it can be. I had quite long spells in the gig when I couldn't fathom out what I was meant to be listening to and then almost suddenly, as if mist were clearing, glimpses where the melody, rhythm and harmonies came together in quite an amazing scene. It did remind me of why a lot of working class whites like black performers - they've seen them escape from the same type of living conditions and circumstances that they've endured and been largely unable to break free from, perhaps seeing a black performer represents that individual who has managed to break free from social class and other restrictions that reduce freedom, quality of life and a sense of being more than a just another individual. They've made the class jump in a manner that Michael Parkinson would quite frequently aim to highlight about a great many of the guests that he's had on his chat show.

With many similarities and differences in mind, I also saw Paul Carrack at the Town Hall earlier last week. I had an objective if you can call it that, of seeing a couple of big names during the course of the year and the three or four biggies have been Herbie Hancock, Paul Carrack and The Beach Boys who I saw at the NIA. I did also see Stan Tracey and his sextet which was as good an experience at a gig as I've had this year. I have spent a lot of time this year in an eighties revival mode. Not having had MTV I've not seen the pop videos that I've seen as a child for years and so many are on youtube such as the ACE version of How long has this been going on? which stands up relatively well and is a staple of most daytime radio stations. Paul Carrack, although he was introduced by Trevor Francis seem to do a type of show that I've seen done maybe just a little bit too often. I wondered who I'd pair him with to stretch him just a little bit - perhaps Bjork or maybe the Portico Quartet with the inspired sound - stretch yourself just a little more please Mr. Carrack.....

Carole Westwood and Archie Cotterell Trio

Carole Westwood and Archie Cotterell Trio played Rush Hour Blues on Friday. I caught most of the first set which was quite nice - shame her kids got embarassed. I thought they were okay. I went along to the Hall Green Ward Committee meeting held in Hall Green School afterwards which was worth having attended if only to see the how things were handled - I'd only been to Kings Norton Ward meetings before which were held in much the same way unsurprisingly. Not that interesting, really...

Against Conspiracy.

It strikes me that in a city the size of Birmingham there are probably a few hundred people who have been the subject of action of the authorities, whether UK based authorities or those overseas, for the purposes of state control, social management or however we prefer the notion of illegal government activity to be termed which is supposedly carried out in the name of national security. I don't find it unimaginable that there is action carried out, not necessarily by the police or employees of the public sector, in order to incapacitate individuals, frame them or otherwise cause inconvenience to the individuals who live in the UK. While I may think this, I imagine that to most people this will appear to be rather insignificant conspiracy that is relatively poorly conceived. I imagine that

there is reason to consider how statistically likely it is that during your life either you, someone you know of or a member of your family may be subject to illegal action that the police are under no obligation to investigate, that is to say, the statistical basis of conspiracy theory. There are possibilities of a great many people being subject to government action, say in a city the size of Birmingham, perhaps there is a possibility of several hundred if not several thousand people having been subject to state action that will not be investigated by the Police that may only be illuminated by cases brought in front of the European Court of Human Rights.

May be one day I'll get some form of resolution on the matters that I've put before the police and hopefully there'll be no need to go as far as the European Court. I do wonder whether the term 'conspiracy theory' should be thought of in terms of unprofessional conduct. If anything a conspiracy theory is one which is not supported by the authorities, as a result, for an individual to have discussed an explanation, explanation being a term for a description that links together action or incident with causal relations, a conspiracy theory should perhaps only professionally in the light of political correctness be considered as a 'non-government supported explanation of events'. Perhaps this could reduce unprofessional attitudes towards some clients and open up more legitimate discussion on the issues that are linked to behaviour change and managing client groups. Perhaps, paranoia does have some links to those who are convinced of 'non-government supported explanations of events' and there could be greater clarification of this issue area to improve the rights of offenders, improve the mental health of offenders and thus as a result reduce the risk of re-offending.

The notion of a non-government supported explanation of events may be interesting to examine - perhaps what could be used on a regular basis may be explanations that are assessed by Primary Care Trusts as legitimate throught their Public Relations Departments - are these to provide the version of reality that we're to find is the healthy balanced truth...?

Coming down from Gigbeth....

Friday, I saw the The Tomorrow Band as part of Gigbeth which appeared to be a relatively successful undertaking. I like Chris a lot as a saxophonist but the band although intentionally bare in some respects could do with a couple of other members - either Levi or Rob on keys and one of the many trumpet players on the local scene - it's only my opinion though. The band which came on before them, the
Zappa Band did a good set. There was also another band that I don't know too much about, though I have to say the same for them - good set, as was the other one I saw earlier.

1st November 2008 - The first day of my life...

In some respects this is just another saturday - I don't feel very much at ease with the notion of continuing with this blog and not tying it into the themes that it is meant to linked with more strongly. I should be doing what I do to very strong effect and I don't know if I'll get round to doing it but who knows maybe I will actually get round to applying myself one day....

There are some shots on flickr of the band that played rush hour blues last night, the Brigette Beraha Quartet. Some are reasonable but as the nights draw in there's less and less light - this makes shooting without a tripod rather tricky...I think the shots reflect this....the shot above is one of the better ones.

Getting into probation speak....

I didn't realise when I was sat in the lectures that were part of the MSc in Public health and health promotion at the University of Manchester why there was constant reference to 'interventions' rather projects schemes or programmes. These would be regarded as more suitable terms for health promotion activity within say the context of regeneration funded initiatives which is one of the major frames that health promotion is understood within at present. It was only when I started reading through the glossary in a home office document, the Supervision of Community Orders, that I realised that the term, intervention, was one that was used in probation. It is perhaps something that an 'offending' community may be sensitive about - why draw this term to use when there may be nothing in terms of substantial links between an offending individual, and an offending community that perhaps doesn't participate in life in the same way as other communities have learnt to do.

It may be something that I haven't been sensitive enough about in the past as I seem to recall having drawn in inappropriate language from alien professions in other circumstances myself. It's justifiable to challenge this and discussing this type of issue is very much about monitoring professional boundaries. When I did it, it was something of a mistake in a psychology seminar to once mention an issue that a fine art student had stated to me - that youth culture to an extent swings in terms of optimism and pessimism in the seventies from folk hippie and glam rock optimism to the pessimistic punk and then back to the early part of the decade, the 1980s being flowing lavish pretentious new wave followed by a solid indie guitar scene leading to the rebirth of negativity in the form of punk-rooted grunge. What may have been interesting about this may have been the overall action of the music scene as a whole to mimic the mood swings of a manic depressive having extensive lows and rather ridiculous highs - I don't know if this is perhaps the worst case of music journalism which already has very severe low points or not - perhaps there is some intention within EMI to do this to the music scene in order to create a beast that youth-music-culture is. Whether this has been notably repeated since I can't say - perhaps the recent indie guitar band revival is part of a much larger project than we're currently led to believe - am I just confusing the da'vinci code with NME, or should I cut down the amount of cannabis I'm smoking before it becomes a class B drug again.

Ho hum, I just wish I could think of something sensible to write about... why not just think about the levellers turning up in the early 1990s as part of the ridiculously optimistic and detached way of thinking of the crustie.... who can say.

Night of open mike....

Well, I wanted to get to more gigs this year and in some respects it wasn't bad to see a band who were just starting off on the live scene - I don't doubt everyone there wanted to offer just a little advice but on an open mike night it's about people getting up infront of a crowd in order to have an experience which is going to lead to them improving.

I took over a hundred shots of the band at Tom's Tower of Song and they're on flickr through the link. The shots aren't great and as a venue, it was quite difficult to get decent shots - if I take any there I'll have to get the artists to pose rather than just grab the shots from the back as anonymously as I can - this means that a lot of 'the reality of the situation' is generally lost but it's more important that the photographs actually show what they're meant to be showing. I hope the band have got a future together and they perform more frequently... It's a small intimate venue and a good place for budding artists to get their acts together - why don't more teenagers do this type of thing?

Ten minute wonder...

Have you ever, like I did yesterday, seen a woman and thought that you were looking at the most beautiful woman in the world? I can't really say that I was entirely wrong about the waitress who I asked if I could take shots of - she did look entirely wonderful in every respect. The shameful thing about it was that I didn't really think that she was actually that attractive until I'd done just a little work on the shots when I got back to the hostel. She was really quite special and I don't think she'll have a long modelling career but sometimes it's nice to be proved entirely wrong - hope she does.

The location of the restaurant did leave me feeling just a little like I'd been there before or at least seen pictures of it in some place or other. There was something very Salmah-Begum-like about the other waitress - who was really very similar in the manner she moved in. There was the most remote facial similarity as well and I wonder if Ms Begum actually has some form of Italian links in terms of her family heritage. There was something I couldn't place as being Muslim about several of the women who worked at Teleperformance and I don't know if I'd be correct in saying that most of them, if not us, had some form of Italian link or other. It does leave me wondering, after seeing someone who looked like my Grandmother in Il Chianti whether or not I had any significant family link with Italy. There was someone who bore a strong resemblance to her in terms of facial expression in Guatemala, a place a genuinely doubt that I have any family connection to - a simple cultural accident may have taken place. Will I find out the linkages between her olive coloured skin and the European heritage that she may have had....

Anyway, I can't really think about anything else at the moment - it does seem quite nice in principle at least to have some important links with Italy, even if they're of family who may not have been here for a century. Carl Chinn did make a point in one of his Sunday shows on WM that there have been quite extensive Italian communities in Birmingham arriving from Southern Italy - I didn't really give consideration to the possibility that my relatives may have been amongst them. I've noticed a little Italian influence over several people I've known as well and didn't know that they were drawing from Italian styles when they dressed slightly different to the majority in the UK. This was something that I wasn't aware of at the time though I'm sure that the style-awakening that many British people go through when making what generally gets called the class transition, from working to middle class, often includes attempting to be as stylish as an Italian counterpart would be rather than to try as stylish as a very fashion conscious fellow Brit would be.

I have not really had the sense of occasion in my life to really have a substantial awareness of what to wear when and why - this should be one of the main factors in determining what to wear and why and if you lack awareness of the generally and specific conventions in society then there is not much chance that what you'll choose to wear will be entirely suitable. When I photographed the events at Coventry's War memorial for the Earlsdon Echo the only thing that really influenced the way I dressed was the hounding that Thatcher gave Michael Foot over the green duffel coat he wore on Remembrance Sunday in the mid 1980's. Not the most important of events fashion-wise, it was only really done for political mileage, or at least that's what it seemed to achieve. I was slightly embarrassed about the fact that I hadn't got a tie on but that is something that I should perhaps have taken into consideration. Even if you don't wear a tie for work, Remembrance Sunday is perhaps one event in the UK that it's appreciated that men do wear a tie.

I think about it in some respects - one of the mistakes I made in job interviews was to be rather untidy and in no way approach the role of leadership which is one of the key underlying values for project leadership in Health Promotion or Public Health through my clothing. This isn't suitable - Britain isn't a nation of clothes snobs to a ridiculous point but being very smartly dressed on a formal occasion is taken as an indicator that the participant, be they the interviewee, is obeying the same conventions for the same reasons as the other participants, the interviewers - that we've made progress through years of conflict in Britain and this is partly reflected by adherence to dress codes - it's a sign of respect for the interviewer which indicates an understanding of what they've achieved to get into the position that they are in.

Still I have a little time to spend in Florence and perhaps will see another waitress or woman who is as delightfully attractive as the one above who served me lunch yesterday. Then coach to Pisa tonight without having seen the leaning tower or Michaelangeo's David. It's difficult to say what other major attractions I should have seen - but I've largely missed them all. It hasn't made the least difference - Firenze has been a sight to marvel at.

I do wonder if the 24 hours I lost in Dahab in 1990 was spent partly in Florence - I seem to have recalled events which involved a few people from the UK and I do wonder if they were brought to Firenze - was there reference to it at the border crossing as I left Egypt to go back into Israel after the trip to Israel. I don't know what happened during the 24 hours but I guess I find out one day. Who else may have been in Firenze - and do they know I was taken from Dahab without a stamp in my passport. Perhaps there was the usual messing around and I remained there - I can't say. It's been funny seeing the glass ceiling/floor inside Haworth YHA and the long driveway up to Florence YHA both of which I've had dreams about. I think I had the dreams about two years ago, it seems like a rather strong memory. Was I doped to then have dreams about such places? It's not worth raising the issues really.

The end is in sight.

I'm currently lounging around in a hostel that I've had a little de ja vu in, this non-paranormal experience does make me feel very much as if I should be here. I did only want to spend two days here but that could easily change to four if not longer. It will be nice to get out tomorrow on the bike that I've hired - the walk to Barberino along the Poggibonsi road was really quite nice and it didn't seem to matter that I've had dreams about the location some time before. The multicoloured pathway to Barberino has featured in a dream or two but that's going back several years now. It was nice to have walked to Poggibonsi, but I feel very much worn out as a result of the experience. Everyone in the shops has been helpful to a large extent and this has resulted in the overall experience being what I can class as rejuvinating. I do feel generally happier here than I have done for several years now and while there is no doubt a veneer for the tourists and life here probably has a very unpleasant side I guess that I'm going to be content to enjoy time here rather than get depressed by the politics of the tourist dominated life.

There hasn't been the call from the agency inviting me back to the UK leaving me knowing that I'll have work there upon my return, however, I've had just a little in the way of communication. I can of course check emails through the wireless system in the hostel with my usually reliable laptop. It feels genuinely like a holiday here and the lack of responsibility that I feel towards the space here, knowing full well that it's virtually all the responsibility of others to maintain the nation leaves me feeling very relaxed. Not having great reason to return does leave me feeling a little bereft of meaning in the UK but I guess that it's frequently been like that for me.

In the meantime, I've got a few decent shots of theTuscan Hillsides in amongst the duff shots that I've included. They're still worth taking a look at.

So, didn't get the RBS job. Don't know why yet - I'll hopefully get feedback tomorrow. I did have forms of alarm bells going off in my head when I was leaving the interview and whether or not it was the people from RBS that I met in the pub at the back of the UGC on Broad St when I saw walk the line with a mate I can't say at this point. Why there were signs up on the walls of the toilets in the pub with the letters 'RBS' on them most wouldn't bother to hazard a guess. I imagine that they were some form of mnemonic and I'm meant to look like I've got some form of super-power memory when someone is just fucking me about, only a little but they're fucking me about.

Why oh why does this shite go on...photo of the guitarist from Tom Hill and Outsville. Kind of like Garry Corbett's work that was exhibited at Central Library, but I can't remember exactly what he did - got a link Garry?

After the interview

Again, I've no real idea how I did in the interview that I had this afternoon for Royal Bank of Scotland. I think it would be a nice place to work for a few months, stretching into years and I assume that they would be roughly as they presented themselves to be. Nothing is guaranteed but this would be a good first job to get after the return from Central America where I had a relatively good trip.

I was thinking about Cathy in San Fransisco some months ago and I have started an email to her. It's a long time since I saw her in Antigua, Guatemala and had several weird experiences during the period I was there. I don't want to look mad, but after the experience of de ja vu in the hostel in Haworth it did make me wonder about all manner of report of 'psychic phenomenon', how easy it is to dismiss these as insanity and whether there could be facilitation of these types of experience. It's quite interesting to think what proportion of the US population may have been maltreated, then enter a state where they experience what seems to be like a psychic vision and for whatever reason presume that they've had a religious experience or that they have psychic powers. It would be unconstitutional or at least illegal, I assume to allow this to happen to sections of the US population but I could be wrong - who cares about the sections of the US population that have been driven mad? (actually I do but I don't get the impression that the US authorities do) I can't really start an email to her after not seeing her for six months and then tell her about the freaky coincidences taking place in my life.... may be she'd be interested....!?! Why did this happen to me in Guatemala and not other places in Central America and was she one of the people that I had pictures of on my camera without any idea who she was back in 1996 only then at a later point to feel comfortable when I met her - because we'd had a prior meeting and no recall of it.

Perhaps, she'd even be interested in the shot of Stan Tracey shown above - who can say...

Back from Haworth

Inspired now to almost complete reading a Bronte novel after seeing the family home and the village the girls grew up in. I shouldn't forget Branwell, the son who drank himself to death more or less - sad family tale in many respects. The two eldest daughters didn't make it into their teens and all of the one's who did were dead before they were fifty. The father of the family Patrick Brunty, who wisely changed his name to Bronte, outlived his six children which I think is a pretty sad state of affairs. They may have achieved but I'd rather live longer and achieve nothing with my life - which I think is the deal that God has offered me. I liked the walk up to wuthering heights a great deal - for scenery I generally don't think anywhere compares to Dartmoor on the whole, but Haworth does.

I had a little de ja vu in the YHA as well. The places that I have had dreams of before going there, for instance, Antigua in Guatemala, Xela in Guatemala now include Haworth YHA. I assume what has taken place is that someone has shown me footage of the interior of the building and this has taken place during one of the memory blanks that I've had. I assume again use of a memory inhibitor, or something that could strongly influence state dependent memory was used. I don't think for a second that dreams are a reflection of the subconscious - I think they're created by the manipulation of the individual using measures such as these - ho, hum, I do tend to go on about such things. To me there's adequate information in this paragraph for someone to totally shift the thinking that has led to Freud's or other psychodynamic theoreticians work but I've got to try to get a job in a call centre in the next few days.

Maylight

Here are the shots of Maylight from tonight.... like the band on the whole - why did they only play 15 minutes though....?

On a completely unrelated matter, I was looking at some tsunami comments I'd made on an old blog. It's interesting that they were viewed and not really commented upon. While I was working on the Three Estates New Deal for Communities project I tried to get a conspiracy theory group off the ground. This didn't happen, I guess to many people getting lots of 'paranoid' people together and letting them conspire together is not a good idea. What I thought could be achieved is using a group to explore norms and values within the area concerning what was generally considered normal to state - what was possible to talk about without feeling as if you're committing a faux pas. There are social rules about what is reasonable to state

What it may also have provided is a means to tackle the social stigma about those who don't have great faith in the establishment in Britain. Too often someone may come across as depressing or naive if they don't indicate any degree of confidence in the authorities - it's perhaps the complexity of the idea behind that kind of statement and broader awareness that's going to separate someone from being a 'nutter' who doesn't believe anything the government say from someone who expresses their opinions in a slightly more conservative manner and can come across as intelligent.

Conspiracy theory may also contribute to well being in some respects not undermine it: it shouldn't cause paranoia to get worse. Conspiracy theorising may perhaps even contribute to well being if done following certain guidelines -
It could contribute to understanding of political activity and then assist with awareness of how much control an individual has over social or economic problems;
It could result in plans of action which may assist with dealing with problems locally and doing something constructive;
It could contribute to setting norms within a group which may then influence norms in the locality which then contribute to social stability;
It could help reduce paranoid classification of individuals and self doubt over lack of faith in the authorities;
It may also reduce depression and negative self-images if a number of residents if they realise that they have relatively normal views that many people hold.

There are social rules about when and how to discuss conspiracy theories, which I assume are theories which are largely not recognised by the authorities as having sufficient credibility to be taken seriously, as opposed to what is considered credible, usually by the political establishment. A conspiracy theory is only an account of events which is not accepted by the political establishment who may have their reasons for ensuring that some theory is not investigated. Exploring this through a community group may have offered some opportunity to set group norms and thus reduce paranoia and depression which may be quite difficult to tackle outside of a social group and provide a means to ensure that residents can still participate in surveys, a number of communities of interest and place, use of local resources, influence over local resources and possibly even some decision making. If there were residents on the 3 estates who have more regard for conspiracy theories than what the government state then it may be reasonable to ask how they should be engaged in community groups. What is on the blog I wrote about the tsunami a couple of years ago is still there, it hasn't been removed by anyone so it's not impossible to speculate and survive.

Preparation for another call centre post.

Spell it out, say the bleeding obvious. Well, it's professional advice on a number of levels really. It's what people get told to say to each other in some instances. Shouldn't be cynical about the assistance that I'm getting at present. It's really been very good having the contact with work directions that I have had.

To the side is a glass lantern that sits in the window of the Bulls Head in Moseley. I didn't take shots of Steve Ajao when I was there - I was there for that purpose but something about the event didn't grab me. I'll have to try harder tonight when I go and see Lizzy Parks and Maylight at the Rainbow.

More Jazz online

After what was really not a bad gig at the CBSO Centre Stan Tracey's Hexad seem to be the best slide show that I've put up on flickr recently. There are a few other things in my recent UK shots but not a lot to mention - just failed photo-essays. These shots of Quiver from an age ago aren't bad. Will be job hunting more and more in the next few days now it's mandatory that I attend Work Directions. Time to prepare for interviews....

Last night at the fair....

There are a few shots of the Levellers online from the arts fest gig last night at Centenary Square cick the link forthe levellers. It wasn't a bad show by any stretch of the imagination though I guess that I can't really say that indie pop with the flavour of folk and punk that is so obvious in their work is my favourite thing in the world, it does come across well on a Glastonbury like stage in front of a few thousand people.

I was back home late and thinking about working on the shots. I didn't really get to it and they have only slightly been dabbled with. They're okay shots. The Metros did a good set as did the band on after them, who I didn't see because I was in the bar. Most people did the sensible thing and watched the bands and at £3.00 a pint who can really blame them.

There are also a few shots of Levi Frenchat the City Inn. It was a gig played in 2006 long before I'd entered the digital darkroom. I didn't really do anything to the prints before putting them online. Not fantastic shots but I guess that I can't really do very much about that at this point in time. They seem to work much better now, more magazine like in their quality especially with the colour levels dropped down so low now.

Earlier today....

There are shots online from earlier today of Tony Jacobs with Fat Chops or the slide show of the same shots if you're lazy. They're not fantastic despite having worked on the sharpness and colour balance a little. I was going to suggest that Fat Chops all wear styles of Gap khaki but I don't think it would really do anything major to add to the ambience of the place. It works because the music does all the talking in there generally. Tony Jacobs was good value - a near faultless singing performance and reasonably well selected Tommy Cooper jokes - he should go the whole hog on Cooper I think.

Storming success of the Corbett Quartet...

The shots I took of the Bryan Corbett Quartet are online - some are okay. I don't think I've taken a whole series of shots of a gig and never got one of the bass player with his eyes open. Maybe he sleepwalked to the gig....

There are also shots of the old haunts in Manchester, so much to answer for. They're mostly shots of architechture. Lots has changed in the city centre and in Withington, an area where I used to live. Withington has just lost it's ancient cinema which didn't sadden me but it's not great to see these types of buildings go anywhere in the country. They win in Manchester with the Restoration funds and then lose other buildings which I guess is the name of the game. All the old people's home on the Wilmslow Road are now converted to fun pubs, I guess that the north of England is not going to be a popular place to retire and go into a nursing home with the likes of Harold Shipman knocking around. Here's to fun pubs anyway...

Weekend in the city.....

Months now since getting back from Central America and I'm now in a position to get on with my life. My mind is still, I've got abilities of concentration and memory that I didn't think I'd ever regain to the extent I have and I can now exercise without feeling as if my head will cave in.

I've got a rather outlandish project of trying to get to grips with Italian and reading up on Tuscany and Umbria in the next few weeks before going there next month as well as trying to get up to a decent standard in tennis as well - intermediate lessons start on Tuesday evening.

In terms of photography, I've got a few lights to play with and hopefully will get some decent still life and portraiture done in the next few weeks - things are generally looking up, despite the fact that I haven't got a job, buggared up my car this morning and don't much else to do with my time but plan projects and engage in hobbies. Living with dad is driving me nuts....

I've added a shot of my hair largely so I don't have to describe it when I go to the barbers - it's a real drag that I can't describe a haircut - this is little more than a pudding basin cut for the thirty quid I paid for it - go to the most expensive salon you can afford is always the advice, somehow I think the cheaper one's are better value.

Time off following good behaviour.....

After a few weeks of job hunting I've managed to get a few more applications in the post and find a few more job hunting sites. It's been a rather frustrating time. I was hoping to find work within about a fortnight to a month and I don't think for a moment that I expected to be waiting around the two month mark which is what it will reach a week on Friday.

There's a bit of jazz on the horizon in the form of Stan Tracey and Liz Parks is playing the Town Hall for the release of her forthcoming single. There are almost hundreds of shots of her at Liz Parks with Fat Chops Big Band. Shots of the Sugarbeats from June 2007 are also online at the Sugarbeats.

There's a more recent series of shots which almost half work at St Phillips Cathedral, Birmingham and likewise, the thin end of the wedge. I managed to take shots of one of the buildings in the city centre that I love which is at the top of this blog - don't know if it's called anything, it's at the back of the Town Hall. I guess London and many of Britain's many other historic cities have dozens of this type of gothic like example. I've always liked it because it seems so different to everything alongside it on Paradise St.

Time to crack on with the job hunting....

More things on flickr - the last batchelor pad.

Don't know where I saw this type of shot before but I guess that it was in some art students work on women and society. The photoessay, last batchelor pad, is rather weak and to most will just be an excuse to have pictures of the 'most attractive women in world' online somewhere with rather purile splats of paint over them.

The colours were dropped down to contribute to the muted feel of the situation and the privacy of the interaction between the decorator and the world famous models who were being splatted with white gloss in a Pollock like perversity - which is what the images of the women are for I assume. I don't know if Lord Lichfield did take anything like this - I seem to remember that he did. God knows why... There was meant to be a large element of sarcasm in some of the images- the most important thing in the world to some people, the shape of a woman's body, the perfect geometry of her face, the fact that she can disguise everything about her real life as if she were some latter day Geisha.

There is something also meant to be a strong reflection of my life at this stage. I was generally psychotic, only able to do a few things including work, decorate and read pornography. The soft porn end of the market is far more offensive to me in some respects as there tends to be too strong a dominance of the 32-24-30 type of women - though this is something that varies from magazine to magazine. FHM seemed to be the worst perpetrator of the images of women who were all around the same size, although this may have changed more recently - I stopped buying the magazine for this reason - it must be for teenagers I guess.

Anyway, check out the last batchelor pad it's at least worth a look at.

Commuter Jazz - shots from September 2007

The shots of Bryan Corbett's band playing at Rush Hour Blues are what I can call okay in the form of a photo-essay. It's not what I call that good a piece of work but some of the images are quite pleasing.

There are some other shots that have gone online that are from the family album from years ago. Most of them were taken by my mother who seemed quite frequently to place the subjects of the image, usually my three brothers and myself in one quarter of the shot leaving much of it relatively empty. I assume this was for some form of artistic impression - on reflection, as there were four of us, this appears to work relatively well. Some of the shots have been over sharpened and saturated to give a sense of the impressionist influence that she may have been using. Otherwise they're a stronly discoloured set of images which may reflect much of the fashion and style of the era they were taken, the mid to late 1970s.

There are some shots of the Parkes family online now as well as the very ancient Victorian style family shots including the one above. It would be interesting to get some of my surviving relatives together to try and work out who's who but that's another job for another day.

Another week job hunting....

Interesting though it may be to get a call from an agency who are possibly only registering candidates because they have so little in the way of jobs coming through, I do find that I can still fill my time even though this only seems to happen about once a fortnight at present. I have spent much of this week looking into the possessions that I have and then reorganising them. It's been interesting to find what I still own and how much I ammassed while I had a house. It wasn't what I wanted at the time and I don't think that I can really explain how good it feels to get off the property ladder in some respects. Now I've got the hellish challenge of getting back on it again. Will I succeed? It's possible if things go well for me over the next few months but not likely to happen this year. Next week, it may be okay to re-visit Manchester.

Being and nothingness, that is what sorting out decorating equipment is all about.

Another day spent sorting out the rubbish I own that I used to call possessions. It was a day of hitting the blankets and duvets, hard not that most of them are worth keeping, hen the 'Pièce de résistance' - working through all the decorating and DIY equipment that was the centre of my life for four years. What an enthralling way to spend an afternoon. I found all manner of screws and nuts and bolts that were are the most facinating things I've ever possessed.

That aside I tried studio cycling at Billesley Leisure Centre and it was certainly acceptable - not bad at all. It was the second burn on a bike in two days. The ride I went for yesterday from Hall Green to Wychall and then back via Earlswood Lakes was certainly enjoyable and I didn't really exert myself to any ridiculous degree. I read off the weight in fat that I was likely to have burnt on the ride on Sunday through the new cycle computer and felt better before I realised how little it was. The amount was only 26 grams, about an ounce. I never thought there'd be days like this...bad days indeed...

Last week of nothing.

I'm still job hunting to no avail and I don't think that I can really do very much more than what I've been doing. I've had to make a major stocktake of my life and my possessions of recent and there are too many projects that I've tried to get on with that have only left me achieving very little rather than a lot. I don't know to what extent I can really control what I do within the scope of a project but I guess that I can only try to do what seems right to attempt in order to keep me feeling optimistic about getting work in the near future.

Some relatively weak shots of Kenilworth Castle and some shots from a random jazz band at Commuter Jazz are also online and I don't think that there is a lot to say for them. Semi-decent record shots they may be but even I'm getting just a little tired of the record shots that I've done. The shot above is of myself looking ravishing, I bought photoshop 6 and I've I'm yet to get to grips with it as the dodgily adapted image indicates.

Commuter Jazz shots from March 2008.

Finally, as if it really mattered in any way, I've put up some shots of the gig that Percy's bandplayed at Commuter Jazz in March of this year. In the digital age it's nice to be able to get to a gig and then get home do a little work on some shots in the digital darkroom, or on your PC at a gig - and get some shots online within minutes of the gig finishing. These took me around six months to deal with and as per usual I've not done a huge amount with them. I haven't had any real luck with jazz as a photographer - everything I've attempted has tended to flop somewhat. I can't state what the reasons for this were but I've got a real tendency to find the jazz artist as a more difficult subject matter than the rock or other performer. Wish I could explain why in detail but I guess I'll just rest content when shots do go well. One day some decent shots of Fat Chops....

Job hunting - what a laugh....

Well after the four weeks I've been job hunting I've done remarkably badly. I don't think I can really do very much more than I have and I've found very little in the way of opportunity. Four weeks is not a long time to be unemployed I guess and I did get back from central America without too much in the way of plans for how I was to get work and it does always tend to be more difficult to get work when the students have taken up those easy to fill positions. All in all the credit crunch is hitting hard and I am one of the one's who are hit.

I made a £1.00 investment in a direct dating pass in order to try to meet someone special - what took place was a few illiterate women contacted me and have not impressed me with their command of the English language. I received a few emails and pictures through that were meant to be from seductive Russian women – to me it’s got scam written all over it. The picture above is of a frightfully attractive Russian woman who has stated she's available and trying to meet me. I assume I'm to be led on and then asked to send a proportion of the fare for her to visit the UK and this would be carefully researched so it's too small an amount for someone to want to get the police involved in order to recoup - perhaps about £50.00. Sad and cynical, I know but I guess I don't think a woman like Britney Spears is going to make advances towards me unless there is some form of complication. I guess I’m showing my age. Are the Russian mafia reading this, I wonder....

Some how I don't think half of them are real let alone available. See the Russian Girls here.

Leamington or bust....

Well, hectic times and this is all I can really do is upload some rather puerile shots of the afternoon I spent in a park at the bottom of the high street in Leamington Spa(30-03-08). The Leamington shots do bring me some pleasure. It’s a nice enough town and late afternoon sunshine does give it a rather pleasant tint – I didn’t have the digital SLR set on 'faithful' so the camera was adding in just a little colour but it does work well with the daffodils and ducks. The squirrel does make me feel just a little like a natural history photographer, though I don’t imagine David Attenborough is going to be on the phone just yet.

The shots aren’t scintillating but they’re a reasonable reflection of what the place did look like that one Sunday afternoon. What was surprising, if anything, was seeing the squirrels take food off children who were offering it on the pathway. I don’t think I’ve seen squirrels with such good manners – that’s Leamington for you though.

Marlboro Vichyssoise

There is nothing to report on the front of the ruthless and jobless job hunting I've been doing over the last few weeks. I guess the credit crunch has really taken effect. Why we can't admit to being in a recession I don't know. I've finally uploaded some shots of the Marlboro Vichyssoise photos taken at the back of central library. They're a bit lacking but I guess most of the anecdotal photoessays I've done are.

Free day savers - how many email addresses have you got?

Having seen it on the back of a bus I've decided to add the same link as the guy or woman who writes Birmingham - it's not shit which obviously only does make you feel that it is in some way or other. This is the link to the FREE DAY SAVER that is being offered by Travel West Midlands at present. A day saver is a day long bus ticket that usually can be used on any bus after 9.30am for the whole of that day if you weren't familiar with it.

The blog is not bad and does give links to the sites of Cllr. Martin Mullaney on blogspot and the almost interesting interview with Andy Wickett, a former lead singer of Duran Duran who is at least very honest, lacking in pretentiousness and seems very down to earth which is probably why he had to leave Duran Duran. He dressed like a skin head and listened to dub reggae - maybe he was crossing a few musical boundaries that are just a little taboo in the music industry - you're either a nazi or someone who loves to cross multicultural boundaries, if only life was that simple....
listen to the Mullaney FM 3 - it is quite interesting. Go through to
Community Podcast Radio - The Mullaney Files.

Barnt Green - place of salvation

At the end of week two without a job I find myself meeting up with an old friend and going for a drink in Barnt Green. I don't know why I wanted to get to Barnt Green, I guess it's the type of place you go if you have a life of some form or other and you have not been a total failure in everything you've attempted. It's nice to hang out in those types of places and pretend that you're one of the successful ones. I guess much of city living is based around doing this sort of thing.

Have done all sorts of crap to my car since it has been MOT'ed which is something I am not used to doing. I kind of like dropping the car off and getting someone else to do the work - Haynes manuals just don't hit the spot to me in any respects what so ever.

Tomorrow, a swim and some preparation for the interviews I have on Monday. I've been meaning to get through a guide on how to approach interviews since I was about eighteen, should have read one when I was finishing my degree an I guess that I should have read a few by the time I had finished my MSc. Ever wanted a career in banking?

The image, a man who has a job in Goa, even if it is attending to his little flock.

One week of job hunting.

After spending just a week trying to get a job I've had very little in the way of success. The 'credit crunch' seems to be the flavour of the month as a phrase to describe the impending recession which I am not sure if it will take place or not. I’ve signed on with a couple of agencies and tried to get my CV sent to several others but nothing is really coming forward at present. One job application went in the post today and I would hope that this results in at least a refusal letter but these tend only to be sent by high profit margin companies.

I’ve signed on with Work Directions in order to get some support but they didn’t seem to think that I was going to be that in need of the service. I assume that I will not get much in the way of guidance through the next few weeks job hunting, perhaps wrongly.

I’ve had opportunity to check out some of the journals in Central Library that are kept in stack such as Aperture, an American photographic journal; Fotomagazine, a German journal and Creative Camera, Ten 8 and a couple of others. They provide a certain amount of background in terms of what social documentary photography has been comprised of over the last few decades and make quite good reading. I think it’s worth spending the occasional evening in there having a quick look through what they have available.

I’ve thought about the extent of the problems that I have at the moment and I regard there to be a strong chance that I’m facing severe hardship – not like the little cutie that demanded I take her photograph on the trek that I took in Nepal last year. She assertively came up to me and asked that I take her picture, lining the photograph up and requesting that the door behind her was used as a background. Nice of a six year old to arrange a shot for me like that. She lived in a very poor area and I don’t imagine that the nature of the problems in my life would have any meaning whatsoever for her and most of the people in the locality that she lives in.

Any relation?

I don't know if it's age that has made me logon to a website and start looking into my family history but it was something that I started to do earlier on today. I've seen a few people around who look a little like my Grandparents - or like myself more to the point. It has made me wonder if there's any genetic connection as we have an unlimited number of relatives, what tends to be the case in most families is that there is a limited capacity for how many we can deal with before it becomes more of a hindrance than pleasure. I don't know if there is much in the way of support on genes reunited but I guess that there could be a connection or two that I find.

I have spent an hour putting my family tree on Genes Reunited which was interesting as a way to spend time for a short while. I managed to get some information out of my dad on his family background which has not come forward that readily before - his mother's maiden name was Holland which I think is something that I should have been aware of many years ago really. On my maternal Grandparents side the family names were Parkes and Golding - though I don't know how Golding or Goulding would have been spelt as I never saw this in writing.

I have heard that people feel like tracing their family trees, at least prior to the advent of internet and the information superhighway, around the time of a birth in the family. A nephew of mine turned 18 recently which is a kind of later-day coming of age, a Brummie Bar Miztva, may be deep within our family culture and led to my family tree mapping. May be this event led to a need to look to the depth of family history that I hadn't looked into before. Difficult to say why people do these things....the picture above is of William and Beattie Parkes - the maternal Grandparents.

Oh bugger - commuter jazz

Well, I didn't have a camera this evening but I did manage to get to commuter jazz and watch most of the performance which to me was really just sweet music. I love the loud crazy atmosphere of the flamenco styled dancers and I just love the overall feel of the really quite amazing strumming and picking of flamenco guitar. It tends to be better when it's played in a manner of UK folk because a degree of earthyness, rhythm and depth that adds so much. Watching the hand movements of the flamenco dancer was really quite delightful when I think about the flickering movements of the guitar players with that as some form of visual harmony, as dance maybe should be. Life is sweet sometimes. It's a shame that it's not every day that I really feel that release. Tonight did kind of feel quite special but I didn't really think that I was going to feel that good about getting back to Birmingham and seeing the communter jazz business. The music alone was really quite special.

I don't feel that great about the weekend and the thought of protecting my car form rust and dealing with all the other things that I have to deal with but I must get on with the mundane in order to have some form of freedom from it. Once it's out of the way, it's done. Other Brummie sayings tend to leave me feeling that much better, I can't really say.

So, gis a job....

Back in Brum for a few days and I've managed to do all sorts of things including getting my car MOT'ed, get rid of the laptop that I managed to break quite significantly and get hold of this nice new-ish Toshiba. I've done hundreds of things and spent a considerable amount of time on the phone - ordering this and dealing with that. It has been a busy.

There have been hundreds of things to do and I have still managed to call agencies that I've been trying to get work through. None seem to be that interested in me at present which does cause a bit of concern. I have still to hit the internet job hunting sites and to get some assistance off work directions, but there isn't what I can call any interest in my job skills.

I Wish I could get a job, but if I like jokes like that one, I guess I'm making things difficult for myself. More job hunting tomorrow....

Back in Brum

Well, I've got the things that I left at Morningside - despite having lost one or two of them along the way owning to a few drinks I had in the Rocket before leaving Coventry. It was good to see the place again and how picturesque the rather unappealing sights are. I like the city on the whole. Back in Birmingham now and ready to face what life deals me - I hope I can do a little about the types of problems that I couldn't do a great deal about before I left the UK. I just wish I could get to grips with this type of nonesense and get things closed up that have affected me over the last few years.

Tomorrow, I have all the joys of looking for work and trying to get somewhere to live. I just hope that I can find something reasonable work-wise that doesn't leave me with no reason to live and that I can find somewhere half decent to live within a month or so.... to be continued....

Leaving Madrid...

I feel settled, rested and more focused than I was three months ago, so to a large extent I do feel as if there's been a more than a moderate success in sorting myself out of the last quarter through this long haul backpacking trip. It hasn't been without expense - I would have preferred to have done more throughout the trip and not to have had the two bouts of illness that left me without energy for days at a time. I was particularly lazy in areas that I can go back to that deserved more in the way of investigation, for instance, San Cristobal de las Casas, in Mexico I could have done far more, and Antigua, Guatemala deserved more in the way of investigation. There was also very little in the way of action around Juayua, El Salvador where I could have been doing more exploring and in Esteli, Nicaragua rather than lounging around in cafes etc etc etc. I didn't get to see Isla de Ometepe in Nicaragua at all apart from in passing as I went by on the road to Costa Rica. I guess I've at least made the effort to do something in Madrid having been here for nearly a week. I didn't go out and club in the Madrid like manner but I did find my way through a couple of the main attractions and get to recover from the bulk of the jet lag that I've had over the last few days.

Overall, a successful trip, but I've got the usual grind of trying to get back into work and aiming at getting myself sorted out in the UK - whether I'll be able to get to grips with issues in contemporary living that I haven't over the last few decades remains to be seen. I've not wanted to join what to most people is normal life but to me, thanks to the Specials, was only really known as the Rat Race. I don't know why I have't bothered with civilisation for so long - it's only when I explore a lost civilisation in lost Mayan kingdoms that I start to think about life in the West Midlands. Maybe I should try to get to grips with living with one of the hill tribes around the Midlands, in Dudley for instance, in order to understand the roots of the local culture. Perhaps not.

Back packing should like all other travel experiences open up the way you live at home and help assist with understanding the process of 'being cultured', being open to new experiences without being gullible and in some ways just to broaden living experiences and cross cultural understanding. I guess that has happened though my lasting memories will include most of the women who worked behind bars in Belize looking at me as if I'd just turned up to try and shag as many women on the island as possible. Somehow convincing people that you're on some form of cultural exploration may not be that straightforward. I don't think I did look like I was in Belize just to screw the local women - I think it was their fertile imaginations working overtime. Mind you my senses have been working just a little overtime in Madrid, the style of the women here is generally quite pleasant - bold, attractive and feminine without being dirty, cheap or flirtatious. It is like a lot of the food (overpriced like the tapas, you may be wondering if you've been here? No,) the bare essentials which are necessary aren't over dressed or contorted to a form where they don't resemble what they began as. They retain their genuine attractiveness.

I think my mind may have slipped slightly since I've spent the best part of two days looking at images in art galleries, lunching away and then getting back into the same galleries to try to take more in again in the afternoon. The attractiveness of some of the women here does start to resemble how I sometimes relate to food - there's a women at the breakfast bar who resembles fruit salad - something light and wholesome, she has almost fruit like appeal. As I was thinking about her an English woman came and sat next to me who seemed to resemble roast beef and yorkshire pudding - 'once every two weeks and it'll keep your stamina up', I guess is not a compliment to most women, but there is something a little more substantial about her. As I state - this isn't necessarily good comparison. Women aren't food, though there could be overlaps in terms of how fashion is driven, how men and women are almost forced to appeal to each others who they wish to through high-street-forces, and there could be impacts made by the comments made by television chefs like Robert Carrier, who said something to the effect of a meal is eaten with the eye even before you've tasted a morsel, which may reflect little more than the consumerism-driven culture that we live in. Women don't need to look different to accompany food, nor to look different at various points throughout the day - though there could be a large number of forces acting which we don't always give consideration to.

It leaves me feeling hungry all this talk of food....I've got a flight to catch. Oh, and the picture above is Van Gogh, earless, which didn't make him appeal that much to his lady-friend. He was done up like a kipper if anyone was, probably worse than Hancock was.

Final day in Madrid - My Birthday.

Up about seven after about a further eleven hours sleep and time to think about hitting some of the galleries in the West Midlands when I get back after having had the experience that I have in the galleries in Madrid over the last few days. It has helped keep me a composed state of mind and to retain what I class as normality - which if I have to develop more than a passing interest in fine art in order to maintain this then so be it.

Art galleries in the west midlands include - the contemporary Ikon Gallery, the award winning
'New Art Gallery', Walsall though how many galleries which cost as much as that one aren't award winning in some way or other I can't say, Wolverhamptons' Art Gallery, the Barber Institute of Fine Arts on the campus of the University of Birmingham, the Royal Birmingham Society of Artists which I know next to nothing about and should investigate upon return and finally the Birmingham Museum and Art Gallery the last of the orthodox style state funded galleries of the West Midlands. I don't think any of them have any strong interest in photography and there are probably dedicated museums in London that do and of course the National Museuem of Photography, Film and Television in Bradford is there, but is just a little bit too far away.

The Temple Gallery is more of a framing shop as far as I can see, number nine: the gallery appears to be a shop on Brindley Place rather than a gallery I guess, the art lounge another shop in the Mailbox as is Claire Galleries another shop with a Birmingham address.

Further East to Coventry there is the Herbert Art Gallery, the University of Nottinghams' Arts Centre and Leicesters' Art Gallery. I guess then there are the galleries around Manchester Liverpool and further afield. That's also without going near those in London which would include The British Museum, The National Gallery, The Photographers' Gallery, County Hall Gallery, The Barbican Centre, Whitechapel and Colomb Art Gallery which appear to be the City's main art galleries.

Plenty of exploring to do upon return to the UK.....will it feel the same there as it does in Madrid though? The image above is another of Steichens' whose work I saw yesterday in the Reina Sophia. As for this being my birthday, it does feel quite nice to plan out a few visits to the art galleries around the Midlands while you're waiting for the breakfast bar to open in the hostel. Hopefully I'll get a lot out of it - why do galleries leave me feeling so restful - was it that experience in the Pushkin Gallery in Moscow all those years ago?

Centro de arte Reino Sofia - the work of Edward Steichen.

So, I've had several cameras over the last few years and I haven't heard of Edwards Steichen until today. The exhibition space in Madrid is well organised as you'd imagine with this being the country that gave Miro, Picasso and Dali to the world. What struck me as unusual today was what a strong template Steichen had provided to form the contemporary exhibition over fifty years ago, which still seems to not only set a standard but also to provide more of a core of what an exhibition space should be about. While I was unaware of famous Beligians, I didn't know too many famous people from Luxembourg - where Steichen was from.

I found it difficult to get to grips with the notion of approaching fine art photography after the brief meeting I had with Rhubarb Rhubarb, and having seen the work of Steichen who over half a century ago had made an impression on virtually every field of photography through from portraiture, advertising photography, still life, war photography and how photography should be exhibited, I could understand why I'd been referred away to do more reading and why I was deemed to be producing nothing more than cliches. Maybe Steichen had done virtually everything in photography before I was born. It appears that he may have done. The shots I took of Birmingham through the trees look dreadfully unoriginal looking at the cover of 'The Early Years'. I guess there's more to originality than I first anticipated. I didn't have the peace of mind to recall the images that I've seen before, now I have a much greater chance. I guess the originality now comes in terms of how the elements are put together.