Fumigated - not me, the hostel.

Hurrah, through the cold at last. Now I'm just making miserable growling noises and coughing like a 60-a-day-chain smoker. At least I can move today, I spent most of yesterday and a little of this morning trawling youtube for more eighties classics. Why, oh, why do Depeche Mode appear not to take miming seriously? At some points they appear to be singing a different song altogether. Are they singing 'I just can't get a f**k!' - it makes no sense to me, maybe this is why Mike Read got a bee in his bonnett about 'Relax'.

At least I did something constructive for half an hour today. I had to because the hostel was being fumigated. It sounds bad but I guess it keeps the cockroaches at bay. The shots I took of a cloudy day in Antigua are worth a quick look at though they're not really that special. I don't feel to inspired photographically unless there's a lot of direct sunlight and even then the shots are not really worth waiting for.

At least I'm over the business of the flu, short lived though it was. It did come on pretty strong, I didn't know what was going on at first - I had the weirdest nights dreams when it was beginning. There were a series of three dreams: the first was almost a montage of hazy pain - like procol harem under water; the next was a vivid combination of boys from the black stuff and the Italian Job - it was almost like some form of gothic horror set underground involving inch thick grime, soot, coal, steam and choking fumes, continuous pursuit by the police and any other agency that may have reason to stop us doing what we were up to and a team that had no hope of carrying off the crime they were undertaking but somehow they managed to escape the onslaught of professionals doing all they could to catch them. There was constant shifting between levels, chambers and Victorian railway architecture influenced interiors (like Isambard Kingdom Brunel following a holocaust) - a filthier trainspotting; the third was rather much ruder but I was in a dorm with three women two of whom kept showing their legs to an unnecessary extent. Try as I might not to be influenced by this, I think they managed to permeate my subconscious, if you believe any of that nonsense. My Spanish isn't up to the point where I can object to sharing dormitories with scantily clad Israeli women, maybe one day.

I don't know if Irving Welsh based Trainspotting on a dream that was caused by the onset of influenza but it wouldn't surprise me if he did. It did cross my mind if trainspotting would have been considered more vulgar if it involved railworkers taking heroin - they seemed to be treated by some sections of the population as the lowest of the low when I worked for Central Trains.

I don't know what to do my time while I'm here my education wasn't good enough to get me through writing anything as much as a short story about the blackstuff-job though combining it with Kes if at all possible may have some form of virtues. Please click education "...We'll laugh about the thrashings I gave them...", is such a good line and tell me if you can watch without laughing please. Other scenes are just as good such as story sir? and cliche though it may be is very funny and saddening at the same time. It does make me wonder what it's like being a teacher seeing kids who have an extremely high chance of developing mental illness knowing this is very likely to happen and not being in a position to do a great deal. It must be tough. I've wondered how much prevention of mental illness should be debated as a political issue as there is a great deal of action undertaken to reduce the chances of mental illness being in effect passed down a family line though I don't think there is necessarily clear enough indication of what differences there will be between the political parties. Perhaps Kes was very much geared to raising the issue of building self esteem in the classroom which has certainly changed over recent years as Cathy Come Home was in raising the issue of homelessness. [There isn't any of the television 'Cathy Come Home' on youtube believe it or not, I'm going to write to my MP.]

There didn't seem to be very many down and outs in Belize although I didn't really go anywhere in the country that they were likely to be and what has surprised me here in Guatemala is that there do seem to be really strong divides between the upper class, the relatively poor working/middle class and the people right near the bottom socio-economically. I did think about asking a few people who work in agencies related to homelessness in the UK who I've met through work to consider doing some voluntary work in Guatemala as it seems to be readily encouraged. Hopefully, it's fruitful as well as being well intentioned.

I must eat....